We didn't make the changing room comfortable for a gay footballer, says Carlton Cole
Carlton Cole revealed he was taken aback by the heart-warming impact of his self-reflection into whether he was a welcoming figurehead for the LGBTQ+ community during his playing days
Carlton Cole had no idea the impact he was going to make when he spoke about gay footballers on BBC Football Focus last year.
It wasn't scripted. It wasn't sensationalist. It wasn't intended to get much of a reaction. But by speaking from the heart on his own experiences in football, little did he know the reaction he was going to get. Cole was speaking about his former team-mate at both Aston Villa and West Ham, Thomas Hitzlsperger.
A year after the end of his career, the German midfielder became the highest-profile footballer to ever come out as gay. By touching on his own experiences in football, Cole spoke honestly from the heart and received the applause of the LGBTQ+ community but most importantly, he received the appreciation of Hitzlsperger, who sent him a thank you message.
"When he said 'thank you for doing that', it took me back," Cole said, speaking at a Bookmakers.com Evening with the Hammers. When I said it, I didn't know it was going to send ripple effects. I didn't know if I was saying the right thing or not. It was put on me and I just said how I felt.
"Times have changed from when there was all that masculinity in the dressing rooms and you have to be a certain way to play football. It used to be like that, the stereotype. As you get older, you understand that people are different and you don't have to be a certain way to play football. I think you will see as time progresses that people will come out and people will be more open with their sexuality."
Cole's comments were particularly remarkable as he became one of the biggest names in Premier League history to speak about how changing room culture could have created an uncomfortable environment for a gay man.
He admits: "Football is for everyone. Who cares? What you do privately is not my business and what I do privately is not yours. If I wanted to make it my business I'll tell you. But I look at it and think if he did want to tell me, did I open the door for him? Probably not."
Cole now works as a youth coach with West Ham, while also dabbling in media and guest appearances. He has undertaken courses to learn how to adjust the way he says things - and is passing that knowledge onto the next generation of youngsters.
He said: "When you are a young lad growing up in the sport, it is kind of the norm, because everyone is acting in the same way. I get in trouble every now and again for the language I use, because I speak changing room language, which you can't really do in the media, because some of the language is unacceptable.
"I have had to do some courses now to angle it and express yourself in a different way and use different words. It is still saying the same thing that you are trying to say, but saying it in a different way. It's about tailoring your knowledge too, being open to different people, different backgrounds, different cultures that are different from you.
"I should know better than anyone with racism. I have had people be racist to me and I should be able to relate to someone who is sexually different to me.
"I coach kids now and I say 'just be aware of what you are saying'. It affects people and it rubs up people in different ways. You might not mean it like that, but your language is very important. Just be more open to different language and put things into the right context and in different ways. You have to be more delicate in the way you speak to people."