Tom Lockyer says 'I thought I could be dying' after collapse 'sent him into nothingness'
Tom Lockyer brought the Premier League to a standstill when he collapsed in Bournemouth, and has spoken out about his harrowing experience
Tom Lockyer admits that he thought he could have been dying when he collapsed on the pitch.
Luton captain Lockyer suffered a cardiac arrest during his side's Premier League trip to Bournemouth in December, which was subsequently abandoned with all in attendance seriously concerned for his health.
Over recent weeks, he has been trying to return to normality and is back at Kenilworth Road on Sunday for the clash with Manchester United. Speaking on Sky Sports, has opened up on the harrowing experience, admitting he thought that his days were numbered.
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Lockyer said: “It’s not something that happens everyday, the eyes of the world were on us. It was nice to come out and say ‘I’m doing well’, I think everyone deserves to know that and see me doing really well. I can’t lie, it’s been a tough few months but I am well.”
“I wish I could tell you to be honest because since, I’ve been looking back and thinking ‘could it have been this, could it have been that’ but it was just a normal day and that is probably what is most worrying about it. I felt completely fine, I’ve been looking for answers but as far as I was aware it was a normal day at the office. It was all going well until what happened.
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“I was running up to the half-way line and felt really light-headed and I remember thinking ‘I’ll be OK in a second’, but eventually I wasn’t and I woke up and the paramedics and everyone was everywhere.
"It was well documented that it happened in May, but I knew this was different. Last time I almost woke up from a dream, this time it was nothingness. I could see straight away that the paramedics, physios, club doctors, there was a bit more panic around and I was a bit disorientated.
"I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move and I was just trying to take in and work out what was happening, while that was going on, I remember thinking ‘I could be dying’.
"That’s a surreal thought to have and not be able to move and respond, and you can see the panic and feel the drip being put into my arm. It was all quite a hard mix of emotions, eventually I came around and was able to speak and respond. Once I came round and felt OK, it was almost a relief - ‘I’m alive’.
"I’m just fortunate it happened where it happened. I feel like everyone watching it and my family had it worse than me.”
This wasn't the first time Lockyer had gone down off the ball, as he also collapsed during Luton's play-off final success against Coventry at Wembley the season prior.
He added: “So after what happened in May, I have a device fitted that records my heart…and it was two minutes forty I was out for and I needed a defib to shock me back. A massive thank you to the paramedics, club doctors, everyone involved that day because without them I wouldn’t be standing here.”
“My old man was there and my girlfriend - who was seven months pregnant at the time, instantly that’s where my thoughts go. Like I said, as soon as I woke up and got my bearings, I was OK, I felt fine and didn’t have any soreness.
"I was fine, but for them having to watch it - my mom was at home listening on the radio with my brother. After Bournemouth scored, she was in a fit and went to make a cup of tea, when she came back my brother had turned the radio off.
"She was like ‘what are you doing?’ and he said ‘Tom’s gone down off the ball again’. It’s things like this that are the bigger picture and that people don’t see and that side of it is hardest to deal with.”
Lockyer was quick to praise the club and fellow players who have helped him since his collapse and has admitted that taking to the pitch again isn't his first priority.
Lockyer exclaimed: "I’ve spoken to Christian [Eriksen], Daley Blind and Charlie Wyke who have all had similar heart conditions. And the one thing that was common from them all was ‘take your time to process what has happened’.
"And in some ways I don’t think I have processed it, maybe because as athletes we’re able to deal with things differently and can compartmentalise. Maybe it will come back and bite me on the bum, but I’ve not really had any emotions since, I know I literally died but I’ve been quite numb about it. But like I said, my girlfriend is pregnant, due soon, that’s my priority.”
“Playing again is out of my hands in a way. That will be dictated by medical staff and specialists, buit what I would say is that if there is a chance - obviously I won’t do anything against specialist recommendations - then I would love to. Obviously it’s far too early to say at this time, there’s a lot more tests that need to happen. But I wouldn’t write it off at the minute, but my priorities are with the baby.”